Wonder

Lilyana Molyneaux

I wake up, and I wonder. Life is a crazy thing. Humans even more. How we adapted and created? How we look? Have you ever wondered over this thing that we call hair? Dead cells coming together to create a strand very weak alone yet strong together. Kind of like humans. Or our eyes, all different colors. Our skin different textures and colors that cover meat which covers bone. Blood, how it’s blue but bleeds red. And how some see colors, how some can’t? Think of it: if you were blind, deaf, without feeling or senses, your life like a black hole, no end to the dark. I am getting off subject. But I wonder, I wonder a lot.

I am not a quiet person. I am, quite frankly, the opposite: always something to say, though I notice everything about a person, all their ticks, emotions, looks. I have ideas of what their future might be like. I am no prophet, but I notice everything. I had taken on photography thinking I could capture that, but now I know you can’t. I seem to always overthink things, things that most people dismiss and don’t think about. Like death. Death. The biggest mystery. What happens? Were do we go? Heaven? Reincarnation? Ghosts? All e other farfetched ideas. Or do we just die soul in body together die? We will never know, not until our time comes, when we see the light–then the biggest mystery of life will finally be answered and we will not have to wonder anymore.

How were we created? Atheists and others believe it’s just a fluke we just ended up here. The Big Bang. Others believe of Adam, Eve, God, Evolution, goddess and so many more. What do you believe? I am still uncertain. Religion is also a weird thing; it determines everything I suppose. Like I said before, we will never know so all religion is a way you chose to live your life, your lifestyle. Do we all come from the same god? If so, then wipe away the hate. Does everyone have their own? And that’s their creator? Our inner god? Mysteries, but that’s what makes life fun–the mystery of it all.

This earth and this life form didn’t come with a Book for Dummies or instruction manual so we are screwing up a lot. This is not how it was meant. We can’t go on like this. With crime increasing, pollution, war, violence, natural disasters, population incensement, global warming. Something’s going to have to happen. A thread’s going to have to break. This world is going to have to change if we would like to spend more time on it or it will happen. So what’s going to happen? God(s) knows where we’re heading. At this rate I don’t even want to know. Who would? If you could know everything, every little piece of knowledge. The entire history? It might sound nice for a second: knowing how we were created. And you probably wouldn’t make mistakes. But the catastrophe would be too much for any living soul to handle. If you didn’t die from heartbreak you would die of the weight of the world. Killing you slowly. The most painful death.

It’s sad to grow up in a world and see your future taken away in the hands of carelessness, to wonder what will be there for my children. What life from here on out will I live? Each day could be our last, every breath could be followed by silence, but we, we have lived day by day and not worried about tomorrow for too long; you can control tomorrow by making a change today. It’s time to think about years to come. I don’t want to live in a world where teenagers are killing each other on the streets daily, where adolescent suicide is at a high peak, where the air poisons your lungs and your food is killing you slowly. What is this? What have we created, what have we done? We have indebted ourselves and it’s time, it’s been time for awhile, and each day comes and goes yet each day it gets worse. These are some things I wonder.

You know the term scientifically proven? Nothing is proven, not a single possible thing–hell we aren’t proven. To be proven is to know and we know nothing. As much as a newborn baby. New born baby. As alive as you and me though much more free. No idea of its life or life, no clue of this world, the joys and horrors. All a mystery. Newborn child most venerable but most free. Variability we all are at a time of being the most venerable. But variability comes with a price, that price being the ability to be Free. And to be Free is to Live. So it’s an all-in-one package deal. Sadly, as it seems we, we are not free–our minds are trapped and our eyes are blinded and our ears are lied too; the illusion we have been fed that we are free is hilarious, just damn funny because that–that’s bullshit. Someone once said “fear is not real, it’s all in your head, but pain, pain is very real.” So that’s the note I’m leaving on . . . Is it all in your head?

I wonder.

 

 

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